Jenkin Foster reports. This year's All-System Rugby Challenge Cup final between Crius Wanderers and Janus Old Boys was postopned for the first time in the Cup's 300-year history. Trouble started when the ball went down for the first scrum, when the pack collapsed on top of the Wanderers Prop Forward Derwin Hengstrom. Hengstrom, notorious for being the game's most cybernetic player, with only 18% of his original body remaining, promptly went haywire. He tore both arms off Old Boys captain Crispin Lickton-Fudley, and used them to beat the scrum-half to death, before he was switched off. The fixture will be resumed as soon as Lickton-Fudley has undergone restorative surgery.
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