FreeLancer 2 Fea... I'm Sorry, I Can't Do This Again

I wrote a FreeLancer 2 April Fools Day update way back in 2004. Here it is.

Get it? No control whatsoever, because of all the fighting about the lack of joystick control! And the screenshot is Steve from the original 90210 crudely pasted onto some Microsoft Word clip art. Let me say that again, for emphasis: the screenshot is Steve from 90210 crudely pasted on to some Microsoft Word clip art."

In spite of this, I still get one or two e-mails a month from sad-sounding FreeLancer fans who have searched our archives for the game's name and who now want to know what else I might have heard about it. When will it come out? Will you play as Trent again? Will you be able to buy a battleship?!

So I'm sorry, I can't do another FreeLancer 2 joke. I'm sorry, everyone. If you've ever felt that our stupid joke updates should come back to haunt us in terrible ways, rest assured that they have. Please, please, please FreeLancer fans, stop. There's no game. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.