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Brian Turnell champion of truth, speaks out. Intergalactic dance fiends Hard? Cor! were yesterday banned from performing their eclectic Tribal Rainforest Chip-Shop Alkali Soul set on the planet of Bex ever again. The reason? It seems the calcium-challenged bleep gods had incorporated a number of indigenous shamen in their dance routine, telling them to 'do somethink a bit funky, knowwhatimeanlike?'. The tribal holy men thus performed the pride of their repertoire, the Heap Big Thunder Rain Dance. It has yet to stop raining on Bex, and Fresh Water is in abundance. We asked Hard? Cor! frontman Wok-eyes for comment, but his jaw was clenched too tightly to speak properly.

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