Citizens Left Without a Foot to Stand On!

Shock horror specialist Limph Grue writes. Inhabitants of Hades are living in fear of a mysterious and bloodthirsty new cult. Known as the Guardians of the Sacred Knee or Bharg, their prime devotional function is to have their left leg amputated in order to emulate their supposed Messiah, Bharg. All well and good, you might think, but unfortunately it is written in the Holy Scriptures of Bharg that the time of judgement is almost upon us, and only the one-legged will gain admittance to Paradise. The Guardians have thus taken it upon themselves to relieve as many citizens as possible of their 'impure' left legs. The situation now seems under control, but Cybernetic Limbs are now at a premium.