Jokes

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I spotted ignorance instead of sarcasm; we tend to get the two confused on this board easily: Some think they have the ability to say something funny and the others are sarcastic.
 
Originally posted by WildWeasel
Sadly, it wasn't as satisfying as I was hoping.
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Is it ever? Time to kick back with a 6-pack of Bass.

Happy Holidays, you wascally Weasel and the rest of the CZ.
 
Originally posted by LeHah
Is it ever? Time to kick back with a 6-pack of Bass.

Happy Holidays, you wascally Weasel and the rest of the CZ.
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"Bass ale; the world's first lager with the great taste of fish!..."

(apologies to Monty Python)
 
You guys are hilarious. I especially liked the one about burning this thread.:D

Anyway, why do sailors use powdered soap in the shower aboard ship?


Cause it takes longer to pick it up after they drop it.:D
 
Here's a Star Trek Joke?

Q: How Many TOS Red Shirts does it take to change a Light Bulb.
A: None, they all get killed 5 seconds after beaming down
 
Originally posted by Ripper
If nothing sticks to Teflon, how does Teflon stick to the pan?
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...and if the black box always survives the crash, why don't they build the entire PLANE out of this material?, etc., etc., etc......
 
There were two blondes standing on opposite sides. The one yelled over to the other, "How do I get over ther?" The other replied, What are you talking about, you are over there."
 
The Lone Ranger and Tonto are camping in the desert, set up their tent, and are asleep. Some hours later, the Lone Ranger wakes his faithful friend.

"Tonto, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Tonto replies, "Me see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?" asked the Lone Ranger.

Tonto ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Kemo Sabi?"

The Lone Ranger is silent for a moment, then speaks.

"Tonto, you dumb ass, someone has stolen our tent."
 
Why do we drive on the parkway, and park on the driveway?

(Apologies to folks from crappy little countries that restrict property rights and freedom of movement.)
 
Originally posted by Ripper
If nothing sticks to Teflon, how does Teflon stick to the pan?
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It's first melted and then applied to the surface of the pan.
 
Why did the chicken cross the road?





To show the armadillo that it could be done!:D
 
Star Wars Joke:

Q: What's do you get if you Cross Colonel Sanders and The Galatic Empire?
















A: A Kentucky Fried Chicken Walker
 
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