Collected Works of Ziggy Stardust
john and jack deal with kilrathi
john and jack deal with kilrathi
John Jackson - space ace pilot, flies really good and was his first in the class at academy
Jack Johnson - John's twin brother, also flies really good but not as good as John Jackson, second in the class at the academy
Wilson "Stickers Smith - rookie pilot, doesnt fly good at all, everone makes fun to him
Jane "Sparky" McLaren - engineer person who fixes all the planes after the pilots fly them
Admirol Jeffrey Tolwyn - person who controls the ship, he was in WC3
Carnie Wilson - also flies, she's really good and is in charge of the wing
"FUCKING SHIT THERE'S CATS EVERYWHERE" SAID JOhn Jackson over the radio to Jack Johnson
"I KNOW LET'S KILL THEM" he replied to his brother
John flew his arrow around the kilrathi while his brother jack stayed flying the same way (towards John) they both shot at the cats blowing up everything! They also almost shot eachother (they were flying towards eachother from opposite ways)
"WATCH OUT YOU FUCKING RETARD" screamed Jack into the radio
"OOPS SORRY I FORGOT ABOUT YOU HAHA" john said
they flew back to the TCS Harmonica and landed on the runway
chapter 2 "WELL ITS ABOUT FUCKING TIME E YOU GOT BACK YOU JERKS I THOUGHT MY SHIPS WERE GONE FOR GOOD HA" said Sparky when they got out she saw the burn barks from the lasers they shot at eachother while killing the cats and said "MAN I JUST FIXED THESE THIGNS that's coming out of YOUR pays guys!" the brothers cried about losing money
"hey SEXY" john said to carnie as they walked into the bar of the ship she smiled at his boyish ways
"give me a shot of beer plese" jack said to the bartender, Shotglass. "me too" added john. they drank their beers and ordered more and drank them also. tgey played against eachother in the simulator and john won because he's better they ordered more vodka and then talked to shotglass about the war.
"I FUCKING HATE THOSE CATS" SAid shotglass as he poured another round
"me too" said john
"yeah" said jack
"they killed my friend Al back when i was on the Tiger Claw"
"they shot him while he WAS FLYING IN THE VEGA OUTERSPACE I THINK HE WAS IN A DARKET WHEN HE DIED"
"goodnight" they said back
they went to their dorm room and went to sleep in their beds (roommates)
john woke up the next morning and saw jack was sleeping with Carnie Wilson, expert pilot on the ship
"FUCKING A YOU GUYS HAD SEX?!???" he screamed
they woke up
"yes we did" said jack
john cried because he liked Carnie a lot and his brother stole her from, him.
"RED ALERT" screeched the speakers in the wall "CATS ARE ATTACKING THE WING COMMANDER ACADEMY ON VENUS"
they ran to their ships as fast as they could! sirens are going off they hopped into the planes and hit the afterburners so they could leave, they flew out the side and entered outer space they started the hiperactive super drives and flew 80,00 light years to mercury so they could help fight (they were at kilrah when they started)"activate mass acceleartion iron drivers now!" screamed carnie wilson over the radio
they activated the mass accelration iron drivers and prepared to kill some pussy
they flew into atmosphere where the cats were and used their telephatic ray guns to annihilated the bombers who were attacking the academy "nice work kids but we have to get the carrier as well so they cant send reinforcers" she said. "okay" they replied they flew back into space and headed towards the carrier! they launched fighters! engage! carnie ordered the brothers. they engaged them, flying all over the place, cats were blowing up everywhere! they killed them all and turned back towards the carrier to blow it up
"WARNING PROXIMITY ALARM IS GOING OFF" the computer said to the pilots
"huh? there isn't anyone near us -- ACK ! CLOCKED FIGHTERS BEHIND US strakha shoot them! they're too close!" said carnie as her ship blew up killing her
john flew around and tried to get missile lock in his Condor. "almost got it he said"
"FUCKING CHRIST HELP ME OUT MAN" said Jack
"I"M TRYING " john screamed
the Pakthan shot at jack just as john launched his missile frigate. boom! the two ships blew up simultaneoushly!
JOHN"S BROTHER DIED he screamed over the radio
John shot all the other cloaked fighters and killed the carrier
John sobbed like a 3 year old girl as he engaged his jump drive to go back home to the carrier orbitting earth he hadn't been this sad since when he found out that his dad Commodore Christopher Blair died in bugspace he barely managed to land his ship on the ship cause he was so sad.
Sparky helped him out of the plane and patted him on the back "it'll be okay" she said "i know, i just need time" he choked on his words
finally, they won the war.
by Ziggy Stardust
i forgot to say that they didn't have ot pay for the ships thet they broke in the first part (one of them died and sparky felt bad for the other guy and made him not have to pay she has a big heart under her tough exterior)
in memoria ex le jacques
in memoria ex le jacques
story chapter 1
the crue of the TCS harmonica were all standing in torpedo bay 13 watching the memory service in memory of jack johnson, john's brother. as the reverand jeffrey tolwyn (he went to semenary school after the war won) read the prayers for his memory and his funeral the crew stood in the torpedo bay 13 watching sadly. after reverend toylwn read the story leuatienant carnie wilson played a sad sad song calld amazong grace on her bag pipes. "such a young lass it's sad to see him go, aye" screamed paladin (jim taggered)
a big black torpedo shot jack's corps into OUTER SPACE where the winds of the world will have their way with him: swoosh.after they closed the window that they threw the torpoedo out of a big grothri fighter flew over to it and snacked it with its tracter beam. "mwahaha" laughed the gothri as it pulled the thing into it's shuttle bay. "the emperer will find this very interesting indeed" gorthi said "warp 1!" the gothri flew back to kilrah to show it to the emperer.
john jackson was sitting at his desk in his room listening to Okay Computar when the door bell rang.
"come" he said
his father, commodare blair walked inside
he stood up
"at ease" he said, he sat back down
"i'm sad about jack" said john
"me too" said blair
"he was my brother" said john
"yeah" said blair
"now i'm your only son" said john
"yeah" said blair
"now that your other son was gone: jack" said john
"i know. its sad huh" said blair
"its too bad there isnt anyway we can get the emperer of kilrathi to use the resserection device to bring him back to life"
"yeah" said blair
"bye" said john
"see ya" said blair
john cried himself to sleep, thinking of his brother
"stickers, set a course for kilrah" said tolwyn
"aye aye sir" stickers replied "asshole" he muttered under his breathe
"what'd you say?" asked tolwyn
"nothing" said stickers
"oh, okay" said tolwyn
they flew to kilrathi
the gothri flew into the emperer's sleep chamber waking him up fromhis sleep
"WHAT THE FUCK HOW DARE YOU AWAKE ME ASSHOLE" said the emperor kilrathi
"im sorry my liege" said gothri to the emperor bowing to the floor in front of the emperor " i found a human to use against the humans in our experiment!" he screamed
"FUCKIN A" said the emperor jumping out of bed
they use the resuscitation device to bring Jack back to life but with an incredible side effect: jack is now half human half kilrathi
jack cried at his hideously deformed inbreed body
"sir we're in kilrathi orbit" said john to the emperor
"exellent" replied admiral reverend tolwyn "now lets kill that fucking emperar once and for all! launch all fighters red alert!"
"RED ALERT RED ALERT RED ALERT" screeched the red alert sirens, waking up the pilots
john was about to kiss a hot chick in a dream when he suddenly heard red alert sirens going off
he stumbled out of bed down to the flight deck where he ran into Stickers, rookie pilot who thinks he's a hot-shot. "can i be your wingman sir now that your brother's finally out of here please?" jack punched him in the nuts for insulting his dead brother. "alright, i guess you can but you have to be a good wingman! NO FUCKING HOT DOGGING" said john to the kid crying on the floor. they got in their gladiuses mark 8 fighters.
LET"S ROCK screamed tolwyn over the intercom as the fighters launched toward the emperer
the two fighters from the Harmonica were afterburning towards the emperors private room as a mysterious ship launched from his carrier.
"kid stay right on my side while i kill this man! no hot-dogging okay?????" screamed john over the radio to his wingman stickers. john got engaged with the mysterious kat ship that had launched from the emperers carriar. They flew around and around in this circle trying to kill eachother but neither succeeded.
"WHAT THE FUCK THIS GUY IS WAY TOO GOOD HE FLIES JUST LIKE I DO" said john to his wingman Stickers over the radio
"mwahaha" jack laughed as the video screen in john's rapier turned on revealing the mysterious opponent
"OH MY FUCKING GOD ITS MY dead BROTHER :~(" cried john
jack shot up his fighter real good until it disabled
stickers is now on his own
To Be Continued... ?
Ziggy's story, don't copy
john fights his brother jack
john fights his brother jack
john flew his ship into the gothri shuttle bay where the emperor is sittin on his throne waiting for him. "so you thought you could outwit us did you? mwahaha" laughed john at the empoeror. the emperor rised from his throne and walked to jack "good work, now that we have the hart of the tigers sun we'll be heros" "hurray" said jack as he got out of the fighter he was flying
they brought john to the brig where he was locked up in the cells "FUCK" he screamed at the top of his lungs but no one heard him except kilrathi guards
stickers was all alone in his ship orbitting kilrathi wondering what he should do.his enexperience leaves him no choice but to scream for help from someone else. "FUCKING HELP ME I"M STUCK IN OUTER SPACE" he screamed into the microphone, his voice booming in space.
"Ta da!" screamed a firekka at him as it flew its firekka class ship over to Stickers and it engaged its tracter beam to bring him home
"i'm finally going home" stickers said as he went home in the tracter beam
the firekka left
stickers flew into the ships shuttle bay and landed on the ground inside he got out
sparky flew over to him and gave him a gigantic hug! "OH SHIT, you finally made it back" she screamed at him
"yeah i was really scared"
"me too i thought you were gone"
"me too i was boned but a firekkan saved--" he said to sparky
"--the day" she completed his sentence for him
"we're perfect for eachother let's get married" he said
deep inside the kilrathi prison jack was crying in his cell. his kilrathi have of his body didn't want to cry because kilrathi are strong. "i have to get out of this cell" he screamed "im gonna get out of here if i like it or not" he started clawing at the cell doors with his talons trying to break them.
"kablam!" said the wall behind him in a cloud of smoke as it exploded outward into the cell! john looked through the cloud of smoke to see what happened! look who he saw! "its my brother jack" he screamed "and dad!" when he saw blair behind jack
"we're busting you out of this hellhole son" said blair
"hurray" they said
"we need to fly home" said blair
"yes we need a ship to fly in" said jack
"i bet theres ships in the shuttle bay' said john
"yup" said blair
"we can fly them" said john
"yeah!" screamed jack
they ran down the hall to the elevator bay that goes to the shuttle bay along the way they ran into a platoon of kilrathi marines on training in the academy which they had to kill, luckily they found some guns in a closet
they stole a bunch of ships
the two brothers were flying in a broadsword back to the TCS Harmonica where they'd be sure to win a reward for their heroic actions. they landed in the fighter deck where there was a big ceremony going on in the corner -- "a WEDDING" screamed john and jack to eachother
"aye, stickers is marrying commander wilson" said paladin to the guys
"that's nice" said john
"i'm happy" said jack even though i loved her too
"RED ALERT RED ALERT ALL HANDS TO SHIPS" said reverend tolwyn
the carrier shook with explosional force as the kilrathi started shooting bombs at it a gun fell off of one of the fighters and discharged it's matter acceleration nuclear force beam and killed half the people at the wedding the only people left were Sparky and john and his brother and tolwyn and stickers
"my wife is dead" said stickers
they all were crying softly as they climbed into their fighters
they launched the fighters and when they got out they killed all the enemy fighters and landed back on the ship
"it's time to go home" said tolwyn to the guy at the helm
"aye aye captain" said stickers as he engaged the hyperdrive
they flew back towards earth.. and towards adventure
Episode 1: back in time
Episode 1: back in time
story chapter 1
john and jack are back in time in the academy during their youths and admiral jeffrey tolwyn is their teacher. this is before the war started.
"man i hate doing math homework" said john as he did his math homework
"me too" said jack as he did his math homework too
they were out flying a training mission in a nebula orbitting earth in epee class fighters with their classmate alex "shady" wilson being their wingleader.
"jack swoop around the nebula and look for any enemies that are hiding around the nebula" said shady
"john swoop around the nebula and look for any enemies that are hiding around the nebula the other way" said shady
jack went one way and john went the other way (around the nebula)
shady stayed where he was
they flew around the nebula looking for any enemies that were hiding but didn't find any. but when they had both flew around the nebula they met each other on the Other Side and almost hit eachother
"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU JERKASS?" screamed john at jack
"i'm sorry" john cried
"it's okay - hey let's spar" said jack
they flew their ships around and got engaged into combat with one and another. shady noticed them fighting and screamed at them over the radio "GUYS STOP FUCKING GOOFING OFF THOSE ARE REAL FIGHTERS THIS IS NOT A SIMULATION WE COULD BLOW THEM UP AND YOU'D GET HURT AND I'd GET IN TROUBLE AND WE'D HAVE TO REPLACE THEM WITH NEW FIGHTERS" he screamed
"oh yeah" said john and jack at the same time and they flew back into formation
"engage warp drive back to earth!" he said to the radio
they turned on the hyper drive and flew back into earth and landed
after john and jack got out of class they went to a coffee shop to get some coffee and meet some girls. they went inside and ordered coffee
"how's it going i want coffee" said john to the waiter
the waiter got him some coffee and some for jack. the waiter is kilrathi
"FUCKING A YOUR KILRATHI said john
"yes i am a traitor to the kilrathi people" said Hobbes
"amazing!" said jack
they drank their coffee and went home
admiral jeffry tolwyn was giving the boys a test in math class the next day
"A TEST!" screamed john
"I FORGOT TO STUDY " SAID JACK
"me too! if only the kilrathi would attack and interrupt the class so we wouldn't have to take it" said john
minutes later when they were taking the test the building shook with explosions that were from bombs
"ACK THE KILRATHI ARE ATTACKING RED ALERT" said Tolwyn
the red alert sirens were going off now the boys heard them and stopped taking their test
"oh no! all of our pilots are dead" tolwyn cried when he heard the news
"aye, me guesses the kilrathi won the war tis too late" said paladin
"wait!" said jack and john at the same time
"jinx!" said jack
"we can fight even though were still cadets! its earths only hope" said jack
the two brothers ran to the launch deck and afterburned their experimental Blair-class fighters out of the carrier
"KICK SOME ASS" tolwyn said in support of them
the two fighters rocketed toward the battle where the kilrathi ships were (two corvettes)
"you take the left one" said jack
the two boys started attacking the left one with both missiles and guns they got beat up pretty badly but after a little bit they won eventually, blowing up the corvette
"now, let's get the right one" said jack
the two boys started attacking the right corvette just barely killing it before they died
"that was close" screamed jack
they landed back on earth
"in honor and recognition of your valient ways that you defeated the kilrathi force that had taken earth down on its knees we hereby award you two cadets the rank of lieutenants and you will both be assigned to the TCS harmonica where you can both be co-wingcommanders"