Herb Peterson, Joseph Stalin and the Captain of the Titanic walk into a bar.
So the bartender asks them how they feel about uneasy tensions in the mid-east.
And Herb Peterson says he thinks the government's policy of detante isn't working, and that UN envoys should be dispatched with more regularity.
But Stalin says he thinks he'd rather take a wait and see approach to the situation, because while the media implies that there's an urgency to it, there really isn't.
And the Captain of the Titanic decides to broach a new topic, what everyones favorite movie is. He says his favorite movie is The Empire Strikes Back.
But Herb Peterson says he never liked Empire because he thought it strayed too far from the original purpose of the first Star Wars.
His favorite movie, however, is From Here to Eternity.
Stalin's favorite movie, though, is 2001, although he says he does'nt like sitting through the monkey part at the beginning.
So the bartender says "But we're all evolved from monkeys, right?"
And so Herb Peterson explains that that isn't necessarily true, just that humans and monkeys share a common anscestor.
The Captain of the Titanic chimes in and says that he doesn't have anything against evolution, but he'd rather not see it taught to his children.
So Stalin says "Well, with the state of schools today, they probably won't teach anything to your children!"
And Herb Peterson nods sadly and agrees with him, saying that that's why he and his wife decided not to adopt a son.
So Stalin says that he was only kidding, and that Herb shouldn't let the state of the school systems get in the way of the joy of raising a child.
So the bartender interrupts them again and asks them for their drinks
And the Captain of the Titanic says he'll have whatever is on tap, which is a locally produced lager.
Stalin orders a shot of vodka, and Herb Peterson orders a Pepsi Cola because he is the designated driver.
It's good of you to do that, says the bartender, we don't get that enough in here.
Well, it's just part of my civic duty, replies Herb Peterson, who still is clearly uncomfortable. Stalin changes the subject: what are they all going to do over spring break?
Well, my wife and I are going on a cruise to the equator, says the Captain of the Titanic.
And then the bartender says "equator?! I JUST MET HER!"
In summation, I don't like where this thread is surely headed, so I'm closing it.