If your child hasn't got a Mutant Cosmic Thunder Samurai Newt...

If your child hasn't got a Mutant Cosmic Thunder Samurai Newt... is a News Bulletin posted to the Commerce and Communications Network in 2790. It does not impact commodity prices.

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If your child hasn't got a Mutant Cosmic Thunder Samurai Newt...
Then you shouldn't be a parent!
In fact, if we discover that your offspring doesn't possess at least THREE of our posable figures with optional accessories, plus at least one of our horrendously overpriced poorly manufactured ThunderKillaCars, then we're going to send the Social Department round to your habitation...tomorrow! Buy one today, or your child could be in the care of deranged individuals of dubious sexuality and religious denomination by next week.
Crecheco. We care.