Squad Foxhound

QuailPilot

QuailPilot

Spaceman
I was thinking about making a Marine story one day while playing WC1. So here it starts.

Chapter 1 Training with Srgt. Henderson Day 1

I can't belive I am finally here! The Marines finaly accepted me in to the accademy! I met someone who is joining the same squad as me. He is Prvt. Arthur Develon. Art said we are getting one of the harder sarges. I laughed at him saying to him that nothing is going to stop me getting into the squad. Art look at me strangly and shook his head. We laughed and walk into our tent. One of the other privates, Jorgen Rehn ran to us and said that we have to met our sarge in his tent. We went with Jorgen to meet the rest of our squad and our sarge.

Everyone was haaveing a good time out side of the sarges tent when the sarge bursted out of the tent and said, " Ok fellas I hope you had a good time. Because you are not getting liberty a few months."
We stopped talking right then and there. A bird was heard in the distance. It was still quiet untill Art asked a question. "Sir..." Sarge yelled at him saying "QUIET, I did not give you permission to speak!"
Everyone stared wide eyed at him. Then sarge laughed and said " You thought I was Ol Blood and Gut himself? Because I am! YOU!" he pointed at poor Jorgen " Run to that hill over there and back!"

Jorgen didn't run fast enough for him. The Sarge yelled some words that I did not know previously that I won't mention here. Then he pointed at me and said "YOU!" I stepped forward and said " Yes sah!" He did the unexpected: he smiled. "You passed. You can also show the squad some markman ship."
He handed me a M161. The standard rifle used by land battleing marines used. He said that "See that target over there...shoot it."
I gulped and raised the gun aimed and fired...but unfourtulantly missed. It was to high. I expected the sarge to give the same verbal attack to me as he did to Jorgen, but all he said was "At least you had the right idead to aim higher there Prvt. Kolesar," he spotted another victim Prvt. Mike Stone "You! put that backpack on!" Stone put it on trembleing. Sarge "Stop twiching! Ok here is a 50 pound wieght."
He dropped the wieght in the backpack and told Mike he was going to put more weights in the backpack till he collapsed. He also told everyone elso to leave. That ended the first day of training. Worse days to follow.



To be continued
 
Here it is continued

Chapter 2: Tranning with Srgt. Henderson. Day 2

When Mike cameback last night, he was on his stomach dragging himself. Me and Art picked him up and carried him to his tent. Well he got about 150 pounds worth of weights in that backpack. Art said if sarge used 50 pounds wieghts Mike would have been back before dinner. Mike told him that after that 50 pound wieght the sarge kept putting in 5 pound wieghts. Poor Mike...oh well everyone was a target to the sarge. Except one...she hid behind Art. Her name is Nikki Blair. I asked her at the mess hall if she was related to Christopher Blair. She blushed and said she was his sister. She also said that when Chris was at the Academy he did not write or send any other messages to his family. The only message they got was brief.
"Hello. I graduated. I am being put on the Tiger's Claw. Say hello to everyone for me. Your son, Chris"


This morning was hard. Sarge had us run an obsticle course that streched for five miles. He also picked on Jorgen again for not being fast enough. He also said if Mike does not do he is going to get booted out of boot camp. Poor Mike. He fell from exaustion from a rope swing into a pool of mud. Sarge swore like a banshee. He told me and Nikki, we were the closest to him, to drag him to the hospital. Boy were we glad we got that. I heard from Art that the rest of them had to go to the gym to lift wieghts. The medic on duty told us that he voluntered us to drag Mike every where. Nothing else happened exiciting the rest of the day for me and Nikki.
 
Short, but what the hell...

The chapters are rather short and to the point, you could definately take a writer's perogative and maybe expand the chapters a little. They could use a few more sections of descriptiveness and some additional vivid allusions. All in all though, a very promising start. I've never been too enthralled with the attempts to expand the role of the marines in the WC universe (I like the space combat, and always thought the role of marines to be very limited due to the role of space combat, except for the take-over of enemy capships. I never thought that marines would be the center of anything too exciting. Keep up the good work, keep up the revising, I'd really like to see where this one is going. Prove me wrong about the excitiement of marine missions, please, show me what's up.
 
Thanks for that I will try to be more descriptive.

Chapter 3: The Fun Begins. Day 10

Well basic training is over. Me and the rest of the squad passed. Marksmanship training is starting today. We do not mind Srgt. Henderson anymore, manly because I over heard the C.O. and a Lt. talking to each other about our sarge.
"...Yes I agree. Those recruits don't know that sarges are all bark and no bite..."

At the rifle range we got the speal on the parts of the rifle. I was voulentered to enter first. This time we knew how far the target was this time, 100 yards. When I was walking up the gate the instructor told me I had to get 150 points to quailify.
"Quailfy," I said "We have to quailify the first time shooting?"
"Quailfy is just the term we use. If some does no get 150 points, or does not know how to aim with this rifle, we give them a weeks course on saftey and aiming."
Oh well. This just like my back yard except with an iron sight instead of a scope. The istructor told us what we have to say to get in, what certain commands mean, and what to say to get out of the range. We have to say,
"Permission to come in sah?," to get into the range and "Permission to come out sah?," to get out.

I walked up to the guard in front of the gate and shoutes to the officer in a tower for permission to get in. When I got in, I walked up to a booth to get rifle and some ammo. When I got there I saw someone I knew from back home. His name is not important though. After saying hello and talking to him for a while the sarge said.
"Prvt. Jimmy Kolesar get your rear your that foxhole!"
Well I had to didn't I? So I got the gun and ammo, and bade a hasty goodbye to my friend. He called to me and said that my foxhole was number 13. 'Great' I thought. I walked over there and hopped in. The officer in charge started to say the orders in to a microphone.
"Welcome to the rifle fireing range boys and girls."
I jumped because of the volume of the speakers that we next to me were loud.
"Well no speach prepared for you except that...FOLLOW THE SAFTEY PRESSEGERS!"
No one was expecting that. People do not usualy yells in to microphones.
"Safties off and set to semi auto. We are going to shoot the full mag. of twenty-five"
I slid the safty to the semi auto position. The clicking of the safties went for a few seconds more. My heart is pumping wildly. I am nervous.
"Ready...Aim...FIRE!"
The cracking of rifles went on for about ten minutes.
"Good... We recorded your score. Qualifying is over.Reload clip!"
I took the next clip out of my ammo pocket. I noticed that this clip was a different size.
"If you have a larger clip, you go and get the correct size. Shipping mixed up the rifle clips with sub machine gun clips. GET THE CORRECT CLIP NOW!"
As I got out I noticed that the guy I knew back at home talking into a intercome.
" Practice is over people. All we have left is sub machine gun clips left. Give your gun back at the booth. Heads will roll at shipping. You will get your score at the as you leave."
My heart is still pounding wildly, I hope I passed. I gave my gun back I ran to catch up with Art. We got in the line for score cards. I closed my eyes when I got mine. I folded it and did not look at it. Art, I noticed, did the same thing. I asked him if I could look at his card first. He smiled and told me if he did that he would also have to look at mine. I blushed and told him to forget it.

We finally look at them back at camp. I got 186 points. Art showed me his. 149 points. He told me that was his first time fireing a gun. I asked him why he joined the marines.
"Explosives. I like big explosions."
We laughed as we walked to the mess hall.
 
It is a little difficult to follow. I am sorry. I will try to be more clear.

Chapter 4: Boarding Training: Month 5: Day 27

We are now done with weapons training, and are now starting ship boarding training. We went into a boarding transport and we learned our poisitons, and how to bust through blast doors, airlocks, and locked doors. We recived our equipment before boarding our transport. When in line with the other squad I admired a Raptor that was to be our "escort." Our equipment was given when we were on board. Art got a sub machine gun and explosives, Mike recieved a heavy macine gun and a neutron (portable), Nikki recived a sub machine gun and a hacking device, Jorgen got a sub machine gun and extra granades, Sarge recived another sub machine gun plus a communication device that can communicate with our escorts and other ships, and I got a anti-material sniper rifle plus a prototype camoflauge device. A engineer told me how to operate the camoflauge device. I asked him why I got to be a tester. He laughed and said that they did not want to use it on the field untill the glitches and bugs out of it. Then he left, and our transport jerked and started to lift off.

I looked out of my window...it was a holographic screen that showed a "space battle." I also noticed that the floor of the ship had been programed to rock everytime the ship was "hit" there also were tiles that flew across the deck as we were "hit with out shields" Then the ship we were supposed to "capture" was in my viewport. It was a captured Ralari that was damaged quite a bit when it was first capture. Our ship finaly made it to the airlock, and sarge was yelling instructions and also told us that somtimes boarding parties have to drill through the top.

Our squad was supposed to clear out the lower decks while the other squad got to "capture or kill" the captian. we took cover while Art placed an explosive and dove to cover while yelling "PACKEGDE DEVIVERED!" We bowed our heads when the explosion occured. My squad and I then jumped out and started to shoot all the metal targets that were acutaly pictures of the Kilrathi in various positions doing "various tasks." I was told by sarge that I had to go alone because of the camoflauge device. He also told everyone else that the rest of the targets had "tracking" airsoft guns.
I turned on my camoflauge device and told everyone else that I was going stealth. I turned my vision to heat vision to see through the door to make sure there was not a "suprise" for me on the other side. I saw a robot cat patroling. I raised the scope to my eyes and fired. The bullet pierced the door and dropped the robot. That attracked more of them. I muttered to myself that engenering made these a bit too real. I kept shooting through the door untill there was not a cat in sight. I then proceded to open the door and I saw a robot cat with no weapon, but attack me with it's "claws" I noticed that the camoflauge device failed for a moment. I got so angry with it that I pulled out my sword and slashed the robot in half. My adrenaline is rushing the my viens at a higher capacity. I am getting battle crazed. I sheathed my sword and set my gun to fully automatic and started to just shoot everything in sight that moved while running randomly. After a while I regained controul over myself again. I had not a clue where I was, so I radioed sarge and asked him where he was. He said he was in Barrack A.

To be continued
 
psych said:
This "story" rebels against logic.
Click to expand...

I havent actually read the story yet... Whats wrong with it? If its something horrible i wont bother reading it at all.
 
For starters, his grammar sucks. No research on military procedure, no attention to detail. I can go on and on.
 
My stories usualy get better over time. This is just a first draft. Sorry psych I know WWII regs. I have a grandfather who was a marine in the Guadalcanal (tank driver), who enjoys telling my family his recollections. Millatary procedures and tactics do change over time.

Chapter 4 cont.

The only thing readable on the wall was B...cks A and a red arrow. I decided to follow the arrow untill I got somewhere. The camoflauge device was working again, so I took out my sword, and started to sneak down the hallway. That was to no avail though. I met up with Art and Jorgen. I turned off my camo device off and walk up to them. I asked them where sarge was. Art replied "Sarge needs a partner in clearing out Barracks A"
I left them and followed the red arrows to Barrack A. Sarge was waiting for me and told me it was about time that I showed up. I told him I would turn on my camo device and slowly open the door and sneak over to the other entrance. He told it was good idea. He also said " The instant you start fireing I am going to kick the door down and go guns blazing.

So far everythings going to plan. I opened the door slowly: the 'gaurds" did no notice me, so I continued going along the wall. Then the camo device flickered, and the gaurds turned my direction and started to walk over to my position. I had no where to run, so I opened fired. The shoot went through two of them, and sarge busted through the door with his gun fireing. We cleared out most of them when our clips ran out of ammo, so we drew our swords and went headlong into the last group of "cats." The "cats" scattered as swang our swords. The barracks was cleared out when the other squad finally "killed the captian."

Every one was tired. We were all glad when boarded the transport for our trip home. I noticed Mike fell asleep when our transport detached from the Ralari. When we landed the bugle sounded. It was time for dinner.
 
Chapter 5 : Debriefing and What Happened After

"How did you guys enjoy using ancient Terra wepons?" asked the C.O. when we sat down for the debriefing.
"Ancient?" I thought "The gun I had shot through the wall, and the neutron gun was modern."
" The next few months you will be using modern weapons"

...

"...Then I do not have to start on Prvt. Kolesar did do I?" the C.O. smirked since no one answered. " Well then, he went crazy with 'battle fever' and destroyed about...oh I say 57 cat bots. That is about the extent of it..."

...

We finished planetary assault three days before the Kilrathi invasion happened here. We were named Foxhound. No reason given to us. I sniped three Kilrathi when one of their deploment ships were "blown out of the water" by a sam site, and seven of them when the stormed the outer perimiter. When the first skirmish was over, I was promoted to Sargent. Manly because sarge was transfered to the Tiger's Claw. Art was wounded from a stray laser bolt from one of the blasted deployment ships.

to be continued
 
To all readers,

Thank you for reading Squad Foxhound. I am going to be resarting it with better editing, and more detail, but if you want me to continue it how it is please tell me. Tell me if you wanted it restart it to.
 
Please Continue

I enjoyed Squad Foxhound since it is always interesting to get a different perspective on the Wing Commander universe outside of the fighters and capital ships. It was enjoyable to read but the continuity issues and grammatical mistakes made it somewhat difficult to follow. If you're going to make a more professional edition I think it will be popular on here. Looking forward to reading more about the Marines when you start cranking out final drafts.
 
Sorry I have been ill. I did not feel like doing this then.:(

Chapter 6: Retreat to a Forest

Somtimes the stupidest people are the people in charge. We were told to retreat a battle we were about to win and go to a desert. They told to go cool our heels in there.
"Cool our heels!" I thought "More like heating them."
Art is doing better though. Jorgen is doing some recon with Mike.

***

Great. Just great. We are on our own. They will not give us support, and they also said if worse comes to worse, surender. What were they on when they said this? Jorgen and Mike came back with more bad news. The Kilrathi wants our hides, so they are planning a massive attack. Since we are on our own and0 do not want to be in the open, I gave an order to advance to a forest.
 
Chapter 6: Retreat to a Forest cont.

We met a Kilrathi patrol on the boders of this forsaken desert. Luckily I spotted them. when I was using my scope on my sniper. We had Mike set up his heavy weapons and had everyone, except me, with a automatic rifle or a particle cannons..​

Ok...an injury happened. Nikki sprained her ankle on a root of a oak. Its bad enough when your being chased to have an injury like that...,but it is even worse when it happens to your medic. I ordered Mike and Jorgen to make a makeshift strecher out of two firm straight branches and their belts.​

Finally I think we are far enough in the forest to make camp. We are making defensive structuers and booby traps. With the exception of Nikki of course.​

***

It is dusk. We have laboured hard today. We are safe from attack for the moment. I can not realy belive that we will be safe forever. Time will tell...​
 
oh so many things....first, your training was to bloody short, basic training is 13 weeks, not 10 days. second, marine medics are called corpsmen, and are loaners from the navy, third, this is not starship troopers, (and gods i hate them for advancing people that way) you do not get promoted because the person over you got transfered or died, fourth, while i realize this is a rough draft, it looks more like an outline than anything, all your chapters need greater depth and length, finally, grammar grammar punctuation, try taking and writing your stories on a word processor program and then copy and paste them on the forums
 
You know...I never read starship troopers (or seen). There will be a second edtion of this story, and last the training part I messed up. I ment weeks when I mentioned days. I also forgot to mention the main character does under go training for being a sarge.

(I would continue the story right now, but I have to get off the computer.;) )
 
You also got the abbriviations for ranks wrong.
Pvt=Private
Sgt=Sergeant
Spelling needs quite a bit of work as well. Anyways Keep trying you'll get there.
 
Chapter 7 Claws of Sivar

"Sarge."

"What is it Mike?"

"Cats inbound. ETA about a half an hour."

"Size?"

"A battlion of drill tanks popped up at the edge of the forest, two large squads of marines flanking."

"Put camp on alert." Jimmy yells to the rest of the squad, "Alert take your defensive posts."

Jim took his sniper and the rest of his gear. He went to his post. A tree a wide range of veiw.

Sorry have to cut the chapter short. Will continue the chapter.
 
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