Saturnyne said:
Shipgate is exactly what we all should aspire to be! He is... why, he's... He's...
1) Shipgate is France's greatest hero.
2) Shipgate won the nobel prize for ass-hat wearing in 1969.
3) Shipgate is .000349 percent water -- that's less water than you!
4) Shipgate sees everything in terms of lavender & chartreuse & green.
5) If Shipgate were a flavor, the only flavor would be SNOZBERRY!
6) Shipgate smells like a cellular phone... and is twice as handsome!
7) Shipgate has caused more spontaneous-combustions than any other nation!
8) Shipgate supports the 7.1-speaker movement!
9) Shipgate once killed a beatnik... and ate it.
10) If Shipgate were a bag, he would be the bag you put cabbage in.
11) Shipgate knows more about walruses than you.
12) Shipgate's favorite flavor of bum is no bum at all!
13) Shipgate keeps all his pencils sharpened... with the power of George W. Bush!
14) Shipgate loses 77 percent of his quality when encoded into mpeg-4 formats!
15) Shipgate has never made a lawyer joke!
16) Shipgate was once elected president of curbside intersection 162... by default.
17) Shipgate killed himself a squirrel... when he was only 2.5 times its size.
18) Shipgate can make gas into shafts... and shafts into gas.
19) Shipgate is the worlds 3679th highest source of mediocre vibrations.
20) Shipgate lost both his ears in Viet-nam... and got them back in Korea. (hey, wait a minute!)
21) Shipgate once wore a tiara... for six days.
22) Shipgate hopes to order Lebanese cuisine over the internet.
23) Shipgate often adds the letter 'q' or 'x' before things with no regard for common sense.
...with apologies to LOAF.