The Buttocks' Biggest Bash!

The buttocks' biggest bash! is a News Bulletin by Randy Yelp posted to the Commerce and Communications Network in 2790. The article denotes a 75% increase in the price of Warp Steroids, sunflowers and Bex beer on Hermes.

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The buttocks' biggest bash!
Randy Yelp, socialite scribbler, writes.
Well, I'm here at rock legends The Buttock Men's biggest party of all time, being held to celebrate lead singer Zak Skintight's 50th birthday. There's at least 75,000 people here in Zak's palatial mansion on Hermes, each choking down as much Bex Beer and Warp Steroids as they can get their hands on. As I write Zak is performing an impromptu number on the Nuclear Banjo while drinking a gallon jug of Beer through a straw up his nose. The question is, how long can it last? The party's been going on for two months already, and guests are clamoring out for more entertainment. What do you think, Zak? 'It's a bit of a larf, init'.