Talk:Jason Bondarevsky: Difference between revisions
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Wedge this is ready for you to polish. | |||
In the Baka Kar section that is time stamp entries, I'm thinking we just leave it as is and not create additional narrative text. What does everybody else think about it? I'd only add text if it needs to be made clearer or an important or interesting event was overlooked. --[[User:Dundradal|Dundradal]] 18:02, 19 August 2010 (CDT) | |||
I | There wasn't much to do, it seems to flow quite well. I put the time entries in point form, but if you don't like it, I suppose it can go without them. - Wedge | ||
Yeah I wasn't sure what to do in that section. The [[Doomsday]] article is the same way...The bullets work, it at least makes the section more visually appealing. I just didn't want to have to craft a narrative to explain the events when simple time stamps work just as well. --[[User:Dundradal|Dundradal]] 13:20, 20 August 2010 (CDT) | |||
: I'm not really opposed to it, but maybe the minute-by-minute AAR-type breakdowns should be split into either another section or a seperate article. - [[User:Bob McDob|Bob]] 15:44, 20 August 2010 (CDT) | |||
Another section? I'm not sure what you mean. It's already separated into the event it occurs (Baka Kar). It's the breakdown of what Bear does during the battle. I wouldn't want to create another article just for it to show what he was doing when it can be effectively displayed here. Is that what you meant or did I misunderstand? --[[User:Dundradal|Dundradal]] 16:26, 20 August 2010 (CDT) | |||
: I was thinking of seperating it into another heading section - you're using level 2 headers for the whole article, so that would mean using a level one header for his entire wartime service (the one with the narrative), and using a second level one header for his history with the Landreich - something like "Service History with the Landreich Navy", to justify a sparse tone. | |||
: But that's a moot point. I was thinking of an earlier revision for some reason (or possibly Doomsday's article, where that sort of thing might be worthwhile). The actual article as of right now looks fine. I'm not really sure if you can do anything more with it, given the way False Colors is written. - [[User:Bob McDob|Bob]] 16:43, 20 August 2010 (CDT) | |||
Yeah I | Ahhhh ok. Yeah I wasn't thinking like that at all, but that's an idea we should play around with and see how it looks/works. I was thinking you meant just adding another section for the time stamps...it sounded odd. | ||
Yeah, | Yeah the Doomsday article was just one giant time stamp :p --[[User:Dundradal|Dundradal]] 17:19, 20 August 2010 (CDT) | ||
It's listed here that Bondarevsky was wounded when the Coventry's bridge was breached by a Kilrathi missile, but the [[Southampton-Class Destroyer]] article says it was a Kilrathi mine. Which one is it? - Wedge | |||
page 300 of Heart of the Tiger "Conventry's hit a mine...She's falling behind, with heavy damage to her shield generators." | |||
page 29 of FC "she had led the party that had saved his life after the Kilrathi missile had struck the flag bridge..." | |||
Just posting here for reference I know we already discussed this on IRC --[[User:Dundradal|Dundradal]] 22:05, 20 August 2010 (CDT) | |||
Just did a quick edit for now. You can resolve the discrepancy more nicely later, if you prefer. - Wedge | |||
Fixed. With plurals it makes it sound like it was under heavy attack and not just cruising insystem. --[[User:Dundradal|Dundradal]] 07:20, 21 August 2010 (CDT) | |||
Latest revision as of 12:20, 21 August 2010
Wedge this is ready for you to polish.
In the Baka Kar section that is time stamp entries, I'm thinking we just leave it as is and not create additional narrative text. What does everybody else think about it? I'd only add text if it needs to be made clearer or an important or interesting event was overlooked. --Dundradal 18:02, 19 August 2010 (CDT)
There wasn't much to do, it seems to flow quite well. I put the time entries in point form, but if you don't like it, I suppose it can go without them. - Wedge
Yeah I wasn't sure what to do in that section. The Doomsday article is the same way...The bullets work, it at least makes the section more visually appealing. I just didn't want to have to craft a narrative to explain the events when simple time stamps work just as well. --Dundradal 13:20, 20 August 2010 (CDT)
- I'm not really opposed to it, but maybe the minute-by-minute AAR-type breakdowns should be split into either another section or a seperate article. - Bob 15:44, 20 August 2010 (CDT)
Another section? I'm not sure what you mean. It's already separated into the event it occurs (Baka Kar). It's the breakdown of what Bear does during the battle. I wouldn't want to create another article just for it to show what he was doing when it can be effectively displayed here. Is that what you meant or did I misunderstand? --Dundradal 16:26, 20 August 2010 (CDT)
- I was thinking of seperating it into another heading section - you're using level 2 headers for the whole article, so that would mean using a level one header for his entire wartime service (the one with the narrative), and using a second level one header for his history with the Landreich - something like "Service History with the Landreich Navy", to justify a sparse tone.
- But that's a moot point. I was thinking of an earlier revision for some reason (or possibly Doomsday's article, where that sort of thing might be worthwhile). The actual article as of right now looks fine. I'm not really sure if you can do anything more with it, given the way False Colors is written. - Bob 16:43, 20 August 2010 (CDT)
Ahhhh ok. Yeah I wasn't thinking like that at all, but that's an idea we should play around with and see how it looks/works. I was thinking you meant just adding another section for the time stamps...it sounded odd.
Yeah the Doomsday article was just one giant time stamp :p --Dundradal 17:19, 20 August 2010 (CDT)
It's listed here that Bondarevsky was wounded when the Coventry's bridge was breached by a Kilrathi missile, but the Southampton-Class Destroyer article says it was a Kilrathi mine. Which one is it? - Wedge
page 300 of Heart of the Tiger "Conventry's hit a mine...She's falling behind, with heavy damage to her shield generators."
page 29 of FC "she had led the party that had saved his life after the Kilrathi missile had struck the flag bridge..."
Just posting here for reference I know we already discussed this on IRC --Dundradal 22:05, 20 August 2010 (CDT)
Just did a quick edit for now. You can resolve the discrepancy more nicely later, if you prefer. - Wedge
Fixed. With plurals it makes it sound like it was under heavy attack and not just cruising insystem. --Dundradal 07:20, 21 August 2010 (CDT)
