Bob McDob
Better Health Through Less Flavor
Here's the rules, post a story, anecdote, anything. Doesn't have to be funny, but it has to be in story form, which generally means it has to have a beginning and an end. I'll start.
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"In a bustling New York city lived two girls, Lucy and Sally. They went to school together since preschool and were the best of friends. Time flew and Sally grew up to be a prostitute. She sold herself to men every few hours and soon became famous by making herself a porn star. Lucy had grown up to be a preschool teacher. By this time, Lucy had lost contact with Sally and forgot about her. Her garbageman, Joe, picked up her garbage everyday, just off the sidewalk. But that's not part of the story. Eventually, Sally was diagnosed with herpes, STD, and every other possible disease imaginable that was related to her career. Sadly, she died after a few weeks. Lucy was invited to her funeral by Sally's cousin, twice removed by marriage, thrice attatched by divorce, who had known her when Lucy came over to play at Sally's house when she was young. As Lucy looked around, she noticed that all the men at the funeral (there were quite alot) were people she knew to be sinners of society. Why, there was Mr. Lewski, the lawyer down the street who left his blind wife to run off with some blond young'n in his apartment. In the corner there was Hobbes, the meat guy across the street who breeded dogs and chopped them up for some unknowing family who wanted pork for dinner that night. Lucy ambiguously made her way over to the ditch in the dirt where Sally was buried, careful not to make any eye contact with any of the men. She could make out a pale white head and maybe a limb or two in the darkness. That was all that was left of Sally. Her diseases had literally eaten away at her body. But in the end, it was not the STD, AIDS, etc. that killed her. It was her self-preaching arrogance that cut her string, sending her plummeting down to hell, right into the boiling Styx River. Lucy lived happily ever after because she remained a virgin. Moral of this story: Dont do drugs. They kill."
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Your turn!
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"In a bustling New York city lived two girls, Lucy and Sally. They went to school together since preschool and were the best of friends. Time flew and Sally grew up to be a prostitute. She sold herself to men every few hours and soon became famous by making herself a porn star. Lucy had grown up to be a preschool teacher. By this time, Lucy had lost contact with Sally and forgot about her. Her garbageman, Joe, picked up her garbage everyday, just off the sidewalk. But that's not part of the story. Eventually, Sally was diagnosed with herpes, STD, and every other possible disease imaginable that was related to her career. Sadly, she died after a few weeks. Lucy was invited to her funeral by Sally's cousin, twice removed by marriage, thrice attatched by divorce, who had known her when Lucy came over to play at Sally's house when she was young. As Lucy looked around, she noticed that all the men at the funeral (there were quite alot) were people she knew to be sinners of society. Why, there was Mr. Lewski, the lawyer down the street who left his blind wife to run off with some blond young'n in his apartment. In the corner there was Hobbes, the meat guy across the street who breeded dogs and chopped them up for some unknowing family who wanted pork for dinner that night. Lucy ambiguously made her way over to the ditch in the dirt where Sally was buried, careful not to make any eye contact with any of the men. She could make out a pale white head and maybe a limb or two in the darkness. That was all that was left of Sally. Her diseases had literally eaten away at her body. But in the end, it was not the STD, AIDS, etc. that killed her. It was her self-preaching arrogance that cut her string, sending her plummeting down to hell, right into the boiling Styx River. Lucy lived happily ever after because she remained a virgin. Moral of this story: Dont do drugs. They kill."
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Your turn!
)when we got bored. The results were always funny, sometimes bizarre. That would fit perfectly in this thread. 
