Dragoncon Stories: DO NOT CHALLENGE THE TRUCK.

TyeDyeBoy

Spaceman
On Thursday it was decided that we should all hit the World of Coke, a small museum dedicated to the most vile concoction mankind has ever experienced. Locally this is referred to as the Pavilion, FYI. We ventured forth and rode the halfassed subway that is the MARTA system (metro atlanta rapid transit authority, or if you live out in the boonies, moving africans rapidly through atlanta), and were shortly breathing the relatively fresh air outside again.

Unfortunately the directions we had weren't perfect, and we became a tad lost. The problem was exascerbated by the fact that we spotted a large Coca-Cola sign in the wrong direction: a sign that looked identical to the one mounted outside the Pavilion, with a difference in the fact that this one did not rotate. We later decided that this sign must have been the lure of some sort of giant spider hoping to lead lost tourists into its evil sugary web.

As we stood under the sign looking about, I happened to notice a man in an electric wheelchair following about ten yards behind us. He was a grizzled type, missing half of one leg, sporting a greasy red hat and a short beard. He was puttering along happily as we crossed the street to one of those tourist maps/signs trying to find the road we needed.

We were a bit surprised to hear some sort of commotion behind us. As we got our cartography jones on, Wheelchair man wheeled out onto the crosswalk, looking in the direction that the cars next to him were pointing, gesturing and shouting. I'm afraid I don't recall specifics. I want to say it was something to the effect of 'HEY, GET BACK HERE', but don't quote me on that. He was clearly quite put out with whomever he was yelling at. After a moment, he moved to the next road over, and for some reason parked in the middle of the crosswalk in front of a tractor trailer. Lucky for him the lights had shifted, so the truck was at a red light.

You can see what we were seeing here. https://www.wcnews.com/articles/dcon2004/dc2004dayzero33.jpg

After a minute, the light turned green. Luckily the truck's driver had seen the guy and didn't plow him over, but the intrepid wheelchair man got a good honking at, to which he responded by turning towards the driver of said truck and began his shouting anew. The light went red again and no one had gotten to move. We decided at this point that we should move on, so we passed by the grizzled avenger of something or other, and eventually found the Pavilion, where we enjoyed making each other ill by forcing ourselves to drink this absolutely horrid Italian stuff Coke makes.

We never did find out just who was being shouted at. Some say he was shouting at the truck driver for blocking the ramp onto the sidewalk, but he was yelling before he would have even noticed that. Shortly up the road a cop had someone pulled over, but the officer seemed to be adept at ignoring this gentleman's pleas.

At any rate, friends, remember this: If you ever find yourself short a leg and wheelchair bound, it might not be wise to park in front of a semi as you shout at someone. You might be able to climb up the grille and deliver a one-legged beating to make the ancients proud, but the truck itself is no match for your chair, and the driver probably wouldn't give a shit about the grease stain you'd leave.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
TyeDyeBoy said:
We ventured forth and rode the halfassed subway that is the MARTA system (metro atlanta rapid transit authority, or if you live out in the boonies, moving africans rapidly through atlanta), and were shortly breathing the relatively fresh air outside again.

On Saturday when we started the parade.. we also saw the stationary coke sign. It was just a block from the parade staging ground. So we ended up taking the bus ($28) and spending a bunch of time to go about a mile.
 
AdmiralHuang said:
You mean that Italian stuff Coke makes? The "Bitter Apertif" or something?

That is exactly the stuff we had. Truly vile, and enough evidence for me that Italy needs to be nuked off the face of the planet.
 
ChrisReid said:
On Saturday when we started the parade.. we also saw the stationary coke sign. It was just a block from the parade staging ground. So we ended up taking the bus ($28) and spending a bunch of time to go about a mile.

Holy shit... 28 bucks? How much are buses? :(
 
TyeDyeBoy said:
That is exactly the stuff we had. Truly vile, and enough evidence for me that Italy needs to be nuked off the face of the planet.


I recall everything else in the Coke collection of beverages is pretty good. Watermelon and pineapple soda!
 
AdmiralHuang said:
I recall everything else in the Coke collection of beverages is pretty good. Watermelon and pineapple soda!

The other results varied. The ginger one I found to be disappointing, but the green apple one (Chinese, I think?) was surprisingly good to me. And the british one was odd, but Hades liked it. The only one we universally agreed on was the Italian crap.

Incidentally, I mentioned to Monee that we'd tried it, and she knew the name and told me she liked the stuff. She's just odd like that. And to you D*C people to whom I mentioned Monee being a super taster, here. Google has a few articles on it.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/2880471.stm
 
No, the Coca-Cola corporation produces and packages it as a gag.

I liked the ginger ale from Mozambique.
 
Back
Top