Talk:First Battle of Kilrah - 2667

Wedge you can start to edit this. I haven't read it completely over but I think the only additions I'm going to do to it is a few more images. --Dundradal 21:28, 3 September 2010 (CDT)

An impressive effort on your part, certainly. It was a headache reviewing an article this long because when I checked links, I'd get into the habit of reviewing that article, check its links then review articles that it linked to, and so on, ad nauseum. (You might have gathered this from the Recent Changes page.) In the end, it took me several hours to go through this, it's way past midnight for me, I haven't had dinner, and I'm exhausted. ):

I've outlined some of the changes here, in case you have questions about why I did certain things:

Introduction

• I tried to avoid repeating the word 'strike'.
• Image: I'm just going by your principle of leaving out things 'unknown'.

Background: Confederation Situation

• Come on, Dund. I'm hoping you'd know the difference between 'then' and 'than' by now. (:
• Home Fleet was used a lot, and then you started to shift to Kilrathi Home Fleet. I think the latter is better to be clear about whom this 'home fleet' belongs to.

Orders

• A large quote like this looks nicer as a Block Quote HTML element, I think.

Opposing Forces

• Synchronised this with the Strike Force Valkyrie article. Would be nice if there was a simple way to include sections from other pages.
• Something to keep in mind: Fralthra is spelled with two Rs. Just so you don't continue to repeat the mistake. (:

The First Battle of Kilrah

• Making Repairs and Burying the Dead: I don't think you finished the sentence in the first paragraph, 'In a conversation between...'
• Changing Tactics: Is the positioning of the quotes in the sub-heading deliberate? I don't quite understand it.

The Return to Confederation Space

• What does EVA stand for?

The rest of the article was mostly prose, just minor rewording. The article is well written so I didn't have much to do here.

For the Opposing Forces and Casualties section, I'm wondering if we can do something similar to Wikipedia, where it's combined into an info box and placed in the top-right corner of the article. It's a lot of work, I know, but might be something nice to aim for in the future. I also like the little crucifix indicators showing which commanders died during the battle. - Wedge

I finished this at like 2 am so I'd expect there to be quite a few errors. I knew I had left a sentence hanging somewhere but said screw it and I'd find it today.

See above...2 am...I just wanted to damn thing done. I didn't even reread it so for all I know it could have first grade errors. Easy on the lecturing. I'm well aware of the English language however when I write drafts I just let it flow then rework it later and since I know you're following behind me it makes it easy to forget to check.

Home Fleet is used a lot because it's the term used in ER, if it's clear that the paragraph is speaking of the Kilrathi there is no need to add it to Home Fleet to distinguish which is which.

The quotes are deliberate it's what Bondarevsky is thinking before maneuver. Also, since you do not own the novels you need to refrain from editing things related to them without clarification. I'm glad you asked here, please continue to do so.

You really don't know what EVA stands for? Not going to lie that's a bit surprising since we are working on a space combat game....Extra Vehicular Activity. :p

New infobox...yeah knock yourself out...I can tell you I'm staying away from those after the struggle I had to go through just to edit the Character one. You seem more technically capable than me in that sphere so see if you can make easier sense of it. If I try we are all screwed.

I think we can say this article is complete except for maybe some minor details that might come up from the other novels (mostly FA or FC).

One battle down just oh a few thousands engagements to go :p --Dundradal 10:49, 4 September 2010 (CDT)